junho 29, 2007
k so its stupid o'clock and im wide awake....found myself flicking through old blog entries...if you are up for a giggle check out this time last year and the year before....random.
realised ive been blogging on this thing for 4 years...thats crazy talk.
went to a party in borel tonight....the favela behind my house...i have much to say about this at a later date but for now ill leave you with this....it was a great time had by all....threw fire crackers at small children...shook my 'bunda' to samba beats...jumped around with random people wearing weird makeup...was nearly hit by a motorbike...drank a disgusting drink which im convinced preserves your insides...spoke really coherent portugues, im sure....and made myself known to the 'guards'...generally a very enjoyable time!!
realised ive been blogging on this thing for 4 years...thats crazy talk.
went to a party in borel tonight....the favela behind my house...i have much to say about this at a later date but for now ill leave you with this....it was a great time had by all....threw fire crackers at small children...shook my 'bunda' to samba beats...jumped around with random people wearing weird makeup...was nearly hit by a motorbike...drank a disgusting drink which im convinced preserves your insides...spoke really coherent portugues, im sure....and made myself known to the 'guards'...generally a very enjoyable time!!
on a serious note...
was woken up at 3:30am last night to gunfire which lasted nearly half an hour. i dont know who the opposing sides were and why they were at war with each other...but all i could do was pray for those involved. then the heavy rain started..and i fell asleep again. its a regular occurance here in rio....gun violence...but something in the air has changed...today seems tense.
yesterday i began to plan for the first 24-7 week here in rio....perhaps this is as good a time as any....
my lessons were cancelled today again...learning patience....and so i have spent the morning praying....
and my prayers have led me to this....that true freedom IS possible....that this crap that society invented in the 80's and 90's that you are forever a slave to your past addictions is exactly that....CRAP! what a clever strategy of the enemy...lets make them think that they are free by calling them recovered...but actually we'll add a fine-print clause to the bottom of the certificate....that once an addict...always an addict....for example...or you will always struggle with this...or you will always carry this around with you like a burden on your back...this is who you are now....
i CANT beleive this... i DO beleive that we have to fight for freedoms in our lives continuously because 'our battles are not of flesh and blood but of against the powers of this dark world'...but i HAVE to beleive that there is TRUE freedom...that can only come through christ....that we in and of ourselves cannot generate this freedom...and that those things that we have struggled with CAN be fought and won and in turn used to BRING FREEDOM TO OTHERS....and that by associating with others who struggle with similar issues to what we once did doesn't have to bring fear that we will be dragged back down into it... but that we can claim this freedom over our lives everyday and engage with those around us and instead fight on their behalf!
i dont pretend to think this is anything but incredibly hard and a daily choice....but that the grip that this past stuff once had over us can be destroyed!
i see so many people busying themselves and avoiding things for fear of sinking back into old habits...trying desperatly to keep their head above the water on some of these issues...pushing them back, or ignoring them, or trying not to think about them, hiding, avoiding situations or places...perhaps because real freedom hasnt come...perhaps the roots of these things avoided or not dealt with, perhaps its us trying to control the situation....but i beleive more and more that we cant control this stuff....we can choose to let god heal and we can trust in him that he WILL and that TRUE FREEDOM will come in the end...
i see this 'thing' sometimes in people...in christians...of going to the opposite extreme out of fear of reverting back to old ways...i have done it myself in the past....emmerse myself in all things christian... speak christian language, go to christian things every night, surround myself only with christians, work only with christian people or jobs....although not bad in and of themselves (obviously)...but is this just avoiding something?...surely THEN i cant slip again....RUBBISH...another plan of the enemy im sure! seperate us with fear and thus weaken our ability to impact the hurting and dirty and dying of the world....lets be real for a moment guys....we are all battling stuff...lets grab it by the balls and take away the power it has over us....face it head on....see it for what it really is....not emmerse ourselves in something else to avoid reality! surely thats why we have 'church' in the first place...to push each other, watch each others backs, ask each other the tough questions, throw each other out there but walk side by side together through the really tough stuff, the struggles the sin the battles....and see god bring release to others, freedom, strength to fight and to stand....to worship him forever side by side...in vulnerability and freedom....
cause i beleive that god is about our journey and that as we seek freedom HIS glory is revealed....
i love thinking about where ive come from...where the journey has taken me and where im going with it all...i look back to old fears and addictions and how i am now able to walk free from some of those things...unhindered....and how the strength that this freedom has generated allows me to have real impact in those areas now....we have the most impact in the areas where we have the most experience...how much more when we have fought the same battles....ha! come on!
AND...this encourages me to continue seeking freedoms in the areas i still feel bound....bring it on....
let grace abound....get up off the floor....for his glory longs to be revealed in us....
so thats some of my thoughts at the moment....disconnected and still unedited..but real nonetheless...i hope they dont bring offense to anyone... to my readers i say this...feel free to say thats rubbish and move on...for i am only speaking out of the journey in my heart....not pretending to have the answers or final word....just feeling this lion roar inside me and finding myself battling in prayer like never before....its a journey.
on a less intense note....happened to 'mention' to god last week that i would love to see lenny kravitz in concert one day....guess who's on the lineup for the live earth concert next weekend...ha ha.
love it.
also...air conditioned buses aren't all that they are cracked up to be...they are more expensive (by 50 centavos), you cant feel the air blowing on your face through the window...AND they drip...so by the time you get off the bus you are poor, wet and irritated....gimme the ol'skool hot and sticky bus please...
yesterday i began to plan for the first 24-7 week here in rio....perhaps this is as good a time as any....
my lessons were cancelled today again...learning patience....and so i have spent the morning praying....
and my prayers have led me to this....that true freedom IS possible....that this crap that society invented in the 80's and 90's that you are forever a slave to your past addictions is exactly that....CRAP! what a clever strategy of the enemy...lets make them think that they are free by calling them recovered...but actually we'll add a fine-print clause to the bottom of the certificate....that once an addict...always an addict....for example...or you will always struggle with this...or you will always carry this around with you like a burden on your back...this is who you are now....
i CANT beleive this... i DO beleive that we have to fight for freedoms in our lives continuously because 'our battles are not of flesh and blood but of against the powers of this dark world'...but i HAVE to beleive that there is TRUE freedom...that can only come through christ....that we in and of ourselves cannot generate this freedom...and that those things that we have struggled with CAN be fought and won and in turn used to BRING FREEDOM TO OTHERS....and that by associating with others who struggle with similar issues to what we once did doesn't have to bring fear that we will be dragged back down into it... but that we can claim this freedom over our lives everyday and engage with those around us and instead fight on their behalf!
i dont pretend to think this is anything but incredibly hard and a daily choice....but that the grip that this past stuff once had over us can be destroyed!
i see so many people busying themselves and avoiding things for fear of sinking back into old habits...trying desperatly to keep their head above the water on some of these issues...pushing them back, or ignoring them, or trying not to think about them, hiding, avoiding situations or places...perhaps because real freedom hasnt come...perhaps the roots of these things avoided or not dealt with, perhaps its us trying to control the situation....but i beleive more and more that we cant control this stuff....we can choose to let god heal and we can trust in him that he WILL and that TRUE FREEDOM will come in the end...
i see this 'thing' sometimes in people...in christians...of going to the opposite extreme out of fear of reverting back to old ways...i have done it myself in the past....emmerse myself in all things christian... speak christian language, go to christian things every night, surround myself only with christians, work only with christian people or jobs....although not bad in and of themselves (obviously)...but is this just avoiding something?...surely THEN i cant slip again....RUBBISH...another plan of the enemy im sure! seperate us with fear and thus weaken our ability to impact the hurting and dirty and dying of the world....lets be real for a moment guys....we are all battling stuff...lets grab it by the balls and take away the power it has over us....face it head on....see it for what it really is....not emmerse ourselves in something else to avoid reality! surely thats why we have 'church' in the first place...to push each other, watch each others backs, ask each other the tough questions, throw each other out there but walk side by side together through the really tough stuff, the struggles the sin the battles....and see god bring release to others, freedom, strength to fight and to stand....to worship him forever side by side...in vulnerability and freedom....
cause i beleive that god is about our journey and that as we seek freedom HIS glory is revealed....
i love thinking about where ive come from...where the journey has taken me and where im going with it all...i look back to old fears and addictions and how i am now able to walk free from some of those things...unhindered....and how the strength that this freedom has generated allows me to have real impact in those areas now....we have the most impact in the areas where we have the most experience...how much more when we have fought the same battles....ha! come on!
AND...this encourages me to continue seeking freedoms in the areas i still feel bound....bring it on....
let grace abound....get up off the floor....for his glory longs to be revealed in us....
so thats some of my thoughts at the moment....disconnected and still unedited..but real nonetheless...i hope they dont bring offense to anyone... to my readers i say this...feel free to say thats rubbish and move on...for i am only speaking out of the journey in my heart....not pretending to have the answers or final word....just feeling this lion roar inside me and finding myself battling in prayer like never before....its a journey.
on a less intense note....happened to 'mention' to god last week that i would love to see lenny kravitz in concert one day....guess who's on the lineup for the live earth concert next weekend...ha ha.
love it.
also...air conditioned buses aren't all that they are cracked up to be...they are more expensive (by 50 centavos), you cant feel the air blowing on your face through the window...AND they drip...so by the time you get off the bus you are poor, wet and irritated....gimme the ol'skool hot and sticky bus please...
junho 27, 2007
a few thoughts about today...
-socks in sandals is one thing...but this old man on the corner today wins hands down....he had knee-highs on pulled all the way up - but he'd cut the toes part of - and then came the sandals....why is my question? i mean...why cut the toes off? and why pull the socks all the way up? JUST WEAR PANTS!!! made me giggle alot...which was nice after getting lost in rio AGAIN and sitting on the bus far too long.
- started my portugues lessons today which was cool...a friend is teaching me in her home....ended up getting a mini guitar lesson and a nice roast dinner out of the deal! love it! also managed to snag ferris buhler's day off...going to try and incorporate it into my english lesson tomorrow...not sure how yet. i hate lesson planning so if it involves watching movies...well, i'm down with that.
- listening to jason upton on myspace at moment....he's coming to brasil in august apparently....sao paulo tho....so not sure if i'll make it..but i do miss worship in english.
- learning more about how things run here in the favelas...interesting. i really want to discover the roots of some of this stuff...how these different drug commands began, how it works, why do they exsist? is it out of greed and power...or is it more than that...does it come out of a need or desperation to fill in the gaps that society has left wide open?
camilla began her work in the favela behind my house yesterday... as she was waiting outside for someone she saw 2 guys walk past her with guns and weapons...she just prayed....then the girl she was waiting for said to her...dont worry, they see you with me and they know that you are a part of what we are doing here in the community..that you are here to do good for their people...so your safe.
they command the place and know ewveryone who enters and leaves....they protect their people, provide for their communities...but its all done by force and crime, and a spirit of fear.
...she also said if you get caught in a gunbattle dont run....just lie down...handy tip. great. its crazy tho cause i wuld feel safe with them once they knew who i was and what i was about....but if the police sowed up..then id be worried. so opposite to what ive ever known...
- in other totally unrelated news....lost my ring in the toilet today...gutted. i mean it was only made out of coconut but i liked it. just slipped right off...actually thought about going in after it...but then realised the person before me hadn't flushed the toilet and so i refrained....not worth it oria...not worth it.
- had funny conversations today about embarrassing language moments...here's one that happened to my mate...if ever you run across someone who is broken down on the side of the road, think about what you say...offering to give someone 'a push' can easily get mixed up with 'can i give you a sperm'..handy to know in advance..my own personal fav....always remember to use the plural when asking for more than one bread roll...or you may find yourself surrounded by 4 very excited lads and some difficult questions to answer....i think i'll stop there.
- started my portugues lessons today which was cool...a friend is teaching me in her home....ended up getting a mini guitar lesson and a nice roast dinner out of the deal! love it! also managed to snag ferris buhler's day off...going to try and incorporate it into my english lesson tomorrow...not sure how yet. i hate lesson planning so if it involves watching movies...well, i'm down with that.
- listening to jason upton on myspace at moment....he's coming to brasil in august apparently....sao paulo tho....so not sure if i'll make it..but i do miss worship in english.
- learning more about how things run here in the favelas...interesting. i really want to discover the roots of some of this stuff...how these different drug commands began, how it works, why do they exsist? is it out of greed and power...or is it more than that...does it come out of a need or desperation to fill in the gaps that society has left wide open?
camilla began her work in the favela behind my house yesterday... as she was waiting outside for someone she saw 2 guys walk past her with guns and weapons...she just prayed....then the girl she was waiting for said to her...dont worry, they see you with me and they know that you are a part of what we are doing here in the community..that you are here to do good for their people...so your safe.
they command the place and know ewveryone who enters and leaves....they protect their people, provide for their communities...but its all done by force and crime, and a spirit of fear.
...she also said if you get caught in a gunbattle dont run....just lie down...handy tip. great. its crazy tho cause i wuld feel safe with them once they knew who i was and what i was about....but if the police sowed up..then id be worried. so opposite to what ive ever known...
- in other totally unrelated news....lost my ring in the toilet today...gutted. i mean it was only made out of coconut but i liked it. just slipped right off...actually thought about going in after it...but then realised the person before me hadn't flushed the toilet and so i refrained....not worth it oria...not worth it.
- had funny conversations today about embarrassing language moments...here's one that happened to my mate...if ever you run across someone who is broken down on the side of the road, think about what you say...offering to give someone 'a push' can easily get mixed up with 'can i give you a sperm'..handy to know in advance..my own personal fav....always remember to use the plural when asking for more than one bread roll...or you may find yourself surrounded by 4 very excited lads and some difficult questions to answer....i think i'll stop there.
junho 24, 2007
nothing to declare, really
the kites are flying as usual...2 nearly flew into my apartment this afternoon.
i had a lazy hazy sunday afternoon...prayed in the sun, discovered new music on myspace, worked out... the lunge/arse war is being waged...the lunges ARE winning, washed my laundry to the sound of forgotten tunes...generally thought about cleaning the bathroom...still just a thought, looked at the art-in-progress wall in my room...perhaps will finish it tonight.
im beginning to think that coffee actually makes you MORE tired...not gives you more energy. anyone else find this to be true?
roomate came home from church this afternoon with cake...and the arse wins the battle again....drag.
start my portugues classes tomorrow morning....wild. taking what ive learnt on the streets to the classroom...isnt it normally the other way around?
back to the kites thing for a moment...there is actually a game to this whole fascination here...its not just a form of drug communication...the game being trying not to get your kite string cut by the other kids....harsh man.
mossie season is upon us here...i dont usually get bitten...but they like to buzz around my ears...its very relaxing.
some 'fire crackers' just went off....someone scored a goal....
yesterdays busride was fun...the bus was so packed i had to hangout by the bus driver clinging on for dear life as he swerved around the mountain...did i mention i was surrounded by young lads all starring at me with cheeky smiles? that was fun.
managed a seat about 30 minutes later....
how do people know i speak english...i can not say a word, wear the same clothes as everyone here, cover my dreads in a hat, put my sunglasses on and STILL they shout english words at me through the bus windows....how do they know? maybe my pants aren't tight enough...hmmm. i would love just once for someone to assume im a brasileira...one day.
did you know that here they have padded underwear...seriously a butt centred country. might be good for those crowded bus journeys....interesting thought.
went to an all you can eat bbq place on friday night..was nice...but my stomach was screaming the next day....perhaps praying before the meal isnt such a bad idea afterall...at least in situations involving mystery meat.
ants are amazing creatures but not very smart....i followed them around the kitchen today to see where they were going and what was so terribly interesting....turns out nothing..nothing was interesting and if they had just cut across the floor they could have saved themselves about 30 minutes of meandering and discussions along the way.
like i said..it was a lazy hazy day.
i had a lazy hazy sunday afternoon...prayed in the sun, discovered new music on myspace, worked out... the lunge/arse war is being waged...the lunges ARE winning, washed my laundry to the sound of forgotten tunes...generally thought about cleaning the bathroom...still just a thought, looked at the art-in-progress wall in my room...perhaps will finish it tonight.
im beginning to think that coffee actually makes you MORE tired...not gives you more energy. anyone else find this to be true?
roomate came home from church this afternoon with cake...and the arse wins the battle again....drag.
start my portugues classes tomorrow morning....wild. taking what ive learnt on the streets to the classroom...isnt it normally the other way around?
back to the kites thing for a moment...there is actually a game to this whole fascination here...its not just a form of drug communication...the game being trying not to get your kite string cut by the other kids....harsh man.
mossie season is upon us here...i dont usually get bitten...but they like to buzz around my ears...its very relaxing.
some 'fire crackers' just went off....someone scored a goal....
yesterdays busride was fun...the bus was so packed i had to hangout by the bus driver clinging on for dear life as he swerved around the mountain...did i mention i was surrounded by young lads all starring at me with cheeky smiles? that was fun.
managed a seat about 30 minutes later....
how do people know i speak english...i can not say a word, wear the same clothes as everyone here, cover my dreads in a hat, put my sunglasses on and STILL they shout english words at me through the bus windows....how do they know? maybe my pants aren't tight enough...hmmm. i would love just once for someone to assume im a brasileira...one day.
did you know that here they have padded underwear...seriously a butt centred country. might be good for those crowded bus journeys....interesting thought.
went to an all you can eat bbq place on friday night..was nice...but my stomach was screaming the next day....perhaps praying before the meal isnt such a bad idea afterall...at least in situations involving mystery meat.
ants are amazing creatures but not very smart....i followed them around the kitchen today to see where they were going and what was so terribly interesting....turns out nothing..nothing was interesting and if they had just cut across the floor they could have saved themselves about 30 minutes of meandering and discussions along the way.
like i said..it was a lazy hazy day.
junho 22, 2007
my apartment
im having an i miss lynne day!
this pic was taken in vancouver in april days before i left for brasil permanently. miss ya babes....maybe see ya soon yeah?!
junho 18, 2007
the week in reveiw
hmm...its been a few weeks...the latest news from rio
- i have a phone and internet in my apartment now...rock and roll
- i am having conversations in portugues about things that matter...
- i am also officially holding the record to the most embarassing lost in translation moment...still laughing about it days later and avoiding the shop on the corner at all costs...oh god.
- i have discovered that very few things make me truly angry (apart from the obvious ones like injustice, slavery, child abuse,pornography, etc)but voice automated telephone conversations are top of the list...voice automated telephone conversations in portugues and i get serious rage...that and getting dripped on by airconditioners as you walk down the street.....stepping in dog shit....and things flying into my ears.....other than than im a pretty chillaxed person...it just so happens that all of these things happened to me this week.
- getting lauryn hill tickets on saturday night helped to ease the stress. the concert was sold out but i was determined to try and get in anyway. so i dragged my roomate down to the theatre...after asking tons of people how to get to the place (ive also discovered brasilians in general are very helpful and friendly but dont have a clue when it comes to directions....not a great combination) we eventually got into a taxi and arrived a few hours before the concert...i figured this was a good strategy..get there before the masses....i prayed for favour and cheap, legitimate tickets....and literally as we arrived this man walked up to us and said...ive come from sao paulo and i have 3 tix to get rid of cause my friends cant come now....i had a look at the tix and they were cool so i asked the guy the price...then told him what i would pay and he accepted...less than the ticket price!! the security guard said that only an hour or so before we arrived there was a huge line-up of people trying to get tickets and couldnt..we arrived at the right time! so with a few hours till the concert we got in line and got front row centre stage...i literally have never been that close to the front in all my life....was incredible. she looked right at me...and the photographer took my photo for hte website...how insane is that! was hilarious. the venue was amazing, only a thousand or so...maybe less...small place. loved it...shes totally crazy and totally a legend. i left the show at 2 am totally buzzing and feeling totally lavished on by god..what a gift. still smilling about it. totally. need to find a new word.
- tried to make chappatti's tonight for dinner cause all we had in the house was flour and water....thinking htat perhaps there was a missing ingredient....they were a little like boards..any suggestions? my roomate is a legend tho..ate it all...she laughs at my jokes too so she's a keeper.
- must go now and plan lessons for tomorrow...i hate lesson planning and get bored so easily that at the moment im using music to teach grammar...just an excuse really to listen to music...need to find a song with the past progressive tense in it...
- i have a phone and internet in my apartment now...rock and roll
- i am having conversations in portugues about things that matter...
- i am also officially holding the record to the most embarassing lost in translation moment...still laughing about it days later and avoiding the shop on the corner at all costs...oh god.
- i have discovered that very few things make me truly angry (apart from the obvious ones like injustice, slavery, child abuse,pornography, etc)but voice automated telephone conversations are top of the list...voice automated telephone conversations in portugues and i get serious rage...that and getting dripped on by airconditioners as you walk down the street.....stepping in dog shit....and things flying into my ears.....other than than im a pretty chillaxed person...it just so happens that all of these things happened to me this week.
- getting lauryn hill tickets on saturday night helped to ease the stress. the concert was sold out but i was determined to try and get in anyway. so i dragged my roomate down to the theatre...after asking tons of people how to get to the place (ive also discovered brasilians in general are very helpful and friendly but dont have a clue when it comes to directions....not a great combination) we eventually got into a taxi and arrived a few hours before the concert...i figured this was a good strategy..get there before the masses....i prayed for favour and cheap, legitimate tickets....and literally as we arrived this man walked up to us and said...ive come from sao paulo and i have 3 tix to get rid of cause my friends cant come now....i had a look at the tix and they were cool so i asked the guy the price...then told him what i would pay and he accepted...less than the ticket price!! the security guard said that only an hour or so before we arrived there was a huge line-up of people trying to get tickets and couldnt..we arrived at the right time! so with a few hours till the concert we got in line and got front row centre stage...i literally have never been that close to the front in all my life....was incredible. she looked right at me...and the photographer took my photo for hte website...how insane is that! was hilarious. the venue was amazing, only a thousand or so...maybe less...small place. loved it...shes totally crazy and totally a legend. i left the show at 2 am totally buzzing and feeling totally lavished on by god..what a gift. still smilling about it. totally. need to find a new word.
- tried to make chappatti's tonight for dinner cause all we had in the house was flour and water....thinking htat perhaps there was a missing ingredient....they were a little like boards..any suggestions? my roomate is a legend tho..ate it all...she laughs at my jokes too so she's a keeper.
- must go now and plan lessons for tomorrow...i hate lesson planning and get bored so easily that at the moment im using music to teach grammar...just an excuse really to listen to music...need to find a song with the past progressive tense in it...
junho 17, 2007
parque da cidade
junho 02, 2007
borel for peace
arrived back from goiania and this week has been insane...feeling this crazy favour from god at moment. loving every minute of it.
came back to my shelves assembled for me..they were left in a heap cause i didnt have the right tool...potato peelers just dont cut it man... :)
and 3 english students prepared to pay me twice what i asked for...
and the best part...my prayer regarding an ín´into the favela behind my house was answered...i am currently in the little internet cafe in it right now as i type this... i love it in here...turns out that i had been looking out my window and praying over the exact building that ywam was working out of...i had no idea...they have set up a clinic and preschool and youth arts thing...im working on 24-7 borel...the name of the favela. there are apparently 15000 people living in this particular favela.
i am so excited....love it in here. felt this open door and space to just freely walk around...we were met at the entrance to the favela yesterday first by someone who lives and works in here..this way everyone could see that we were associated with a well respected group working in here for the good of the people...then we walked around and met people and saw what ywam (jocum) were doing here and walked back out. as soon as you pass over the threshold of these places the top dogs know you are here...so its important to be escorted in first...apparently...but today me and camilla just walked in freely...was very cool. totally feel peace and gods grace to be walking in here....LOVING IT!!!
met my first english student yesterday..cooked her dinner and
came back to my shelves assembled for me..they were left in a heap cause i didnt have the right tool...potato peelers just dont cut it man... :)
and 3 english students prepared to pay me twice what i asked for...
and the best part...my prayer regarding an ín´into the favela behind my house was answered...i am currently in the little internet cafe in it right now as i type this... i love it in here...turns out that i had been looking out my window and praying over the exact building that ywam was working out of...i had no idea...they have set up a clinic and preschool and youth arts thing...im working on 24-7 borel...the name of the favela. there are apparently 15000 people living in this particular favela.
i am so excited....love it in here. felt this open door and space to just freely walk around...we were met at the entrance to the favela yesterday first by someone who lives and works in here..this way everyone could see that we were associated with a well respected group working in here for the good of the people...then we walked around and met people and saw what ywam (jocum) were doing here and walked back out. as soon as you pass over the threshold of these places the top dogs know you are here...so its important to be escorted in first...apparently...but today me and camilla just walked in freely...was very cool. totally feel peace and gods grace to be walking in here....LOVING IT!!!
met my first english student yesterday..cooked her dinner and
