rebel against the box

so all my impressions of franco have been proven to be true....he is a piece of work let me tell you. i honestly go between complete rage and feeling sick every time i see him...so i am moving out on sunday...sometimes its best to take the high road and hit the road... i have one more week here in salvador and im not spending it with mr.gigilo. back to laranjeiras for me....

....this time next week dana arrives and a new chapter of brasil begins. one of on the road travel and new places and people. happy days.

happy birthday ´uga!

currently listening a lot to bob marley, erykah badu, and the roots....but the theme song of the past month would have to be lauren hills version of ´his eye is on the sparrow´.

brasil just won another game...was there any doubt?! better yet...zé roberto (my husband) scored....so the world is at peace again. things got a little stressed at the beginning of the match when we thought he might have been injured...but no.

the irritating franco made another classic remark last night...derica and i had our portuguese teacher over for dinner(and the 3 others she brought with her) suddenly fraco walks through in his unfortunate see through pink sarong. he mentions later that we should tell him when we are having a feista so that he can put some clothes on. ummm...perhaps franco you could wear pants todo tempos!!!!!!! seriously irritating dude...and im losing patience.

this weeks lowdown....

tanning while washing clothes on the balcony is the way forward.
show de bola and another smashing win by the boys.
show de bolo de chocolate...
sant joão week-long feista.
more stratigic pelorinho skank avoidance.
this counrty has more holidays than anywhere else. seems to have something every week. there is even a day of the cadaver. everything and everyone is celebrated.
almost walked over a lit firecracker this afternoon...that would have been unfortunate.
dana is coming to visit in 2 weeks....sweet.
had friends from itinga over this weekend to celebrate sant joão....in the torrential rain. ended up completly soaked but had a great time with friends....dispite one unfortunate event in the samba bar. in an attempt to bundle through the crowds to the bathroom i was grabbed and pulled into the circle but about 8 men....way to strong for me. one solitary man finally came to my aid and pulled me out of the mess. muito obrigado. sangue bom. from now on im taking a male friend with me to the loo. this seems to ward off any unwanted attempts by opportunists.
unfortunate event this week...the owner of the apartment decided to show up and stay for a couple of weeks. not sure that ive ever dissliked someone so much. seriously have a problem with this person and finding it difficult to be a woman of peace...thinking its only a matter of time before i express my irritation. only a couple of weeks to endure this man. ugh.

is the name of he place i went to this weekend. its an outskirts community here near the airport. dont know if it would be considered a favela as such..mainly because the people living there would call it a working class community. also, the word favela has negativity attached to it and so they wouldn~t call it that.

i loved it there....the weekend was incredible. we stayed with a family who marei (german girl teaching english and bellydancing while doing research on her phd on ngo´s ) has been staying. she peaks really good portuguese after having een surrounded by only portuguese for 6 months...hope for me. ugh.
the family were amazing..very hospitable, very caring, very funny, they alwasy seem to be taking people in to their home...friends who need a place to stay, kids who are having truble in their homes or on the street, really beautful to see. we got thee in the dark...and hung out at this bar on the street for most of the night..people coming and going stying for a few drinks and then leaving...others arriving. it was col because we got to know a lot of people this way that were friends of marei. this is not an area where tourists and outsiders go to so they were excited to talk with us....one guy was really educated in sociology and was director of one of the ngos that we got to go and look at and he really wanted to know about canadas history and how we got our independence etc. was tricky to try and remember all the history..its been awhile since i had really thought about it all. probably shouldnt take it too forgranted.

we were only going to stay for one night but we decided to stay another becuase we were invited to this party the ngo was putting on the next night. we also heard about this reggae/hip hop club nearby that we relaly wanted to go to with some of the girls so we decided to stay. was so amazing..wished id taken my camera. everything was amzing to watch...the way everyone seemed like family, looked out for everyone else, took every opportunity to dance and enjoy themselves. was incredible. it was real brasil. made some cool friends who i hope i will see again...

made me think a lot about what i wanted to do out here.

then obiously made it back in time to watch brasil-australia match. went with uga to the home of his friends...was given a lot of food, never had my drink more than a quarter from the top empty, was welcomed in, was so cool. as soon as the match was over the music came on and people started dancing. so cool. we then all went to another friends house in another area and again.more food, drink and dancing. playing with the kids., etc. peopla re obsesed with firecrackers and poppers. here it seems normal to say to the kids go out and play in the street with fire.

must go...have studying to do.

today im off to visit a favela for the weekend. im excited and nervous. not nervous because its a favela, nervous because i feel like this is going to be a gantlette type moment for me. have felt for some time now...even before i came here..that i needed to go and live there. not just see what its like or go from time to time...but actually incrnationally invest. so today is the day i venture. ive been putting it off...but no more. we met this girl in the hostel one night who works and lives in one of the favelas here in salvador. she is teaching english and belly-dancing. interesting combo. perhaps i need a second skill like this, too? não sei, talvez.

(only you just came on the radio here and i cant help but think of the film so i married an axe murderer...:) )

anyway...back on track...this week i have found myself trying to explain in portugues that i am passionate about justice, about exposing the things not seen by the outside, digging deep into places and people and bringing to surface the gold, the good things, seeing that redemption take place. seeing god bring freedom to individuals, passionate about seeing that gap between the rich and poor get smaller and smaller. wanting to influence politics, study about all this here, learn more about the history between north and south american relations...and the slave trade since so many people in bahia were a part of this.

trying to explain this in portugues was interesting...turns out the word for expose and to take the lid off a pot are similar. apparently this is hilarious.

so...im off to a favela. i suppose the rest will be history..or at least a story. watch this space.


a funny tid-bit for you...during the match between brasil and croatia one of the guys we were watching with (think he owned the tv or something) went inside and came back out with a figurine(much like the bobble-head jesus) of either a black jesus or st.antonio. and set it beside the tv. others got involved in this and soon there was more attention on the right location of the good luck charm than on the match...almost. it lived on the tv, to the left to the right upside down in a cup, soon gren and yellow string was tied around its legs and set back by the tv...hilarious to watch. they were so funny about it. adn when we finally scored...chairs went flying people screamed, jumped around and bot-so-bobble-like black jesus was acknowleged for a job well done. hilarious.

i love brasil. what i dont like is the FLYING cockroach that touched my leg last night at our local down the street. nearly freaked out but tried my best to save the im-going-to-pass-out-from-disgust scene until no-one was watching.

obviously we won...im not sure if i can do justice to the events that took place here yesterday...never been a part of anything like it. totally incredible...totally mad!

we wandered into largo de pelorinho where we had been watching them prepare for yesterday for the last week...a big stage with a not so large screen...olodum was drumming (read previous post on them...amazing group of high intensity drummers famous here in brasil, played with micheal jackson, yadda yadda yadda...) everythign was green and yellow...everyone was dancing shouting, fireworks and banger things going off dangerously low and close to my head. the country was more alive than they already are normally. in a place where they take every opportunity to party and dance and sing...you can imagine what it was like. once the match started we decided to go find a place to watch the match where we could see the screen and not as much chance of being mauled when they scored...not too hard...as every street had a tv outside nad everyones chairs and tables outside...people selling beer and peanuts. people walking down the street carrying tvs and antennas, off to set up another veiwing area and maybe make a few bucks selling something. the group of people we decided to watch with were amazing and totally insane! it was so hilarious to watch them ...and then when we scored...o meu deus!! the excitement that came out of them...from the oldest woman to the youngest child...would solve the energy crisis if it could be bottled.

it was another one of those moments for me...where it was confirmed that i never want to leave. people dancing and singing...sense of freedom and pride...after the match we all went back to the main plaza and danced for ages with olodum again...hundreds and hundreds of people outside...police presence seemed pointless...you couldnt move hardly for hte amount of people dancing and rejoicing. was totally incredible to experience and feel a part of.

it was hard all at the same time because no matter how perfect my portuguese gets, whether i dress like a brasileira, live and have children here....i will never BE a brasileira. this is ok because im not....but to be accepted into this culture as much as i would love to be seems very far away. so for now i will remain a brasil supporter, i will continue to fall in love with the people of bahia, and work damn hard on the lingo...with hopes of more impact into this culture as time goes on.

two hours to go till the brasil match....this place is mad....
at 6am people were already setting off fireworks. they announced on the news last night that most businesses would be closed from 2:30pm onwards. brilliant!

so...sporting my bright yellow and green brasil top...green and yellow thread in my dreads...and 10 reis in my pocket....we are off to join in the fun. found a few spots that have massive screens set up.

then tonight we are having a huge meal with our roomate and her boyfriend. along with derica, myself, and a friend she is determined to set me up with. meu deus.
should be interesting.

my roomates boyfriend is from tenerife...so our conversations are cool....he speaks in spanish and we try and reply in portuguese...with lili to help with english blurts now and then. works out rather well, surprisingly.

whats funny about learning another language is that the more you learn the more you realise what people were saying to you...obviously but what i mean is, for example....somebody was taking the piss out of derica the other day and a week later she suddenly learnt what they had said to her...she was like hey!!! ha ha...brilliant delayed reaction.

had an hdc moment last night....at 9pm derica decides she just has to take her hair extensions out right now...knowing that this takes more than just a few hours, we get a few beers out and begin the lengthy ordeal. ring a bell maine road posse??!!! hmmm....
...after hours of good conversation and a brief midnight snack break they were out and she looks wicked!

a huge congratulations to chuck and jl...they are preg-ers!!!
minya cunhada está grávita!!! very exciting!!!

went to this amazing samba club two nights ago...me derica and two mates here from salvador. this place was really amazing...the type of place you only hear about if you are from the area and know people here. when we arrived there were tons of people out on the streets, the club was full...after a bit we made our way in. our friends, concerned for our safety(being the only forgeiners in teh place) were like...stick with us the whole time. i was like...yeah sure whatever, lets dance! i have a lot of pracising to do! i suck at samba...

im not naive to what happens here...but i feel no fear ever...its god totally. sounds crazy but even the other night me and my mate were summoned out of a club because of a fight starting...and then found ourselves caught up in the midst of another...the police fired a warning shot to break it up...again...no fear...i feel protected or something. weird.

its the freakin fire-crackers that set me off. i was practically deaf for two minutes the other day...walked around the corner and straight into this guy throwing a match at a fire-cracker. practiclaly hit the ground...they all found this histarical. i seriously dont get the point of these hidious noise bombs. apart from goal celebration....i suppose ill be hearing a lot of this with all the goals brasil will be scoring in the coming days!!

rant number one...what do men here get out of stopping to make iritating gestures and ommetns to women..do they really expect to get someting in return? i was on the public phone last night and this taxi driver backs up and rols down the window to make a kiss noise and say linda linda....i was like IM ON THE PHONE...GO HOME TO YOUR WIFE!!!! seriously maddening...i have been observing how the brasilian women react to this...they ignore it...and so will i. but seriously...youll be doing something adn they will try it on...you can linda linda me later buddy im busy here!

i also need to rant for a second about the resident rooster...a rooster in town, fine, i can handle that..its better than the lords of dogtown(the local dog gang) but this particulr rooster cocka doodle doos...NON-STOP!!! i swear they are meant to wake you in the morning and then shut up for the rest of the day...or did kellog´s get it wrong this whole time!? this freakin rooster doodle doos all afternoon and all night! 4am the other night and its histerical. not a break of daylight to be had.
no sense at all.

rants finished...and i must go. i have an exploration date with my homie...

i feel i need to make mention of the world cup. as i type this the city and the entire country for that matter is being transformed. every day more and more green and yellow flags are hung up across streets...covering entire allys like beautiful canopies. not a crevice remains untouched with brasil pride. they are the most patriotic country i have ever been too...and that was before the prep for the cup began. everyone here wears brasil tops as normal fashion. its not cheesy or tacky here...its just what you do. id been in the country a day or two and they were amazed i didnt have one of my own yet.

so im on the hunt for my very own brasil top...as im obviously supporting this amazing country..the fact that they kick ass helps too! ;) and canada, lets face it, stinks at football! so its clear who wins my affections on this matter!

im loving that im here for this...i will try and win out against derica (england supporter) for most festive. wont be hard...not an england flag to be seen in the area.

bring on the insane-ness that will be brasil for the next while!!

so...its raining...its not...then it starts up again...and im wearing far too many clothes. its hot regardless of the rain or not.

woke up this morning to a huge rainbow. whats strange tho is that it was the first time that ive seen a rainbow BEFORE the torential rain started. this seems backwards, no? it was really cool tho...

been having amazing times with god in the mornings on the balcony...being dive-bombed by hummingbirds, listening to my ipod, reading my biblia, drinking jjbean coffee(its almost gone tan-tan!) god seems to be speaking a lot about idols, and being his witness.

i finally figured out the public telephone system here...and just as soon as i did i realised that i had the wrong number. great. some random person tried to be the person i was trying to reach...but i wasnt having any of it. kinda funny after tho.

tonight derica and i are having a friend over for dinner...we cook for him and he talks to us in portuguese. its a great trade-off. was kinda cool how it happened. we got the idea in our heads yesterday morning..that we wantd to have him over...hes a really good teacher. it so happened that on my way back from the bank that afternoon i ran into him! derica says later that night...stuff like this keeps happening! its like its god!

i just smile...and take another sip.

i do feel gods hand on us...his favour here. its cool. everyday is different. everyday i pray specific prayers. everyday i feel god moving. i dont always see...but i know somethings going on. and every now and then i get to catch a glimpse of it, be a part of it, and add my flavour to it.

turns out ive commited to another run with guga....tomorrow at 6pm...5 kms along the ocean. love it!

so im feeling better today...and heres the story. after i returned home from the internet cafe i was lying on my bed when i suddenly realised that since i arrived in salvador something had been wrong with me. and it started the night i flew to this city. either i had one cole sore after another or something was infected and now this weird weak sick feeling and sore throat. im eating right taking vitamins, drinking lots...(of water!) and still one thing after another...it was then i felt like god was like..sit up and declare me in this place right now. ask for healing...this isnt about your health as much as it is about you being situated here in this place...but i am bigger. so i sat up on the end of the bed and just started praying... it was crazy i started feeling better right away, and throughout the rest of the evening more and more-so.

for those of you who pray please do so as this was a real confirmation to me that yes i AM to be in this place. but it seems that im just a prayer away from being back in my bed again. the attack here is real and im not hidden from all that is going on. in fact i feel exposed in everything i do. my house is a real beautiful gift tho..peaceful and like a refuge. but when im walking out and about...totally different story. the other night i had to leave this one specific samba house before i would have liked to because it all got too much...im learning how to fight the battles i need to here in this place...as they are different from any other place ive been too before, obviously.

i still love everything about salvador and bahia(the state) and brasil. im specifically asking for an ´in´ to the music and arts scene here and also into the favelas. for friends in both areas and a purpose for me in both as well.

im also still searching for that someone to give my red moon rising book too...

i realise that not all my readers will enjoy this email and will think im nuts...mais, nao tem impotancia.

on a different note...i made a cake last night. i attempted to read the instructions and in the end just did my own thing...was tasty in the end..even if i did have to eat it from the bottom of the pan. perhaps a bit more greasing in the future?

i have been on the hunt for any potential cockroach intruders..so far nada...but i know its only a matter of time before i physically step on one in the night...i would have an actual heart attack and fall over should this happen. so if you dont hear from me...

so far only a small ant infestation...nothing to really go on about. the most disturbing bit was that they were taking off with my cake!!!

washed some clothes yesterday...not that exciting really...but it was a crappy day out. today is a bit better apart from the weather cant decide what to do...i venture out and it chucks it down. i go inside and it gets sunny and hot. so for now im just in the doorway dancing samba to the naighbours really loud music. i think ive finally got the hang of this samba thing. sort of. ita alot of fun and right now im sore in really odd places.

going for a run today, hopefully.
laters.

the sunset from the balcony. i have discovered that we get sun on the balcony from noon until sunset. great for drying clothes and tanning.

today im ill...barely hanging on. being slightly dramatic...however i barely have the energy to walk to the internet cafe nad sit here. not sure whats wrong with me, but i hope this feeling leaves me soon. its knocked the energy from me and i will have to retire back to the hammock soon. tchau for now.

i must downsize. that bag was unnaturally heavy. we took a break inbetween trips for lunch and a banana split. ha ha...hard work.

during lunch we met one of the drug lords...or so it seemed. ive seem him around wearing one of those ´im cool´ gangsta bathrobes...which blatently ISNT cool seeing as its blazing heat out here! he chatted awhile in really great english...flirted with derica in front of his beautiful girlfriend...again NOT cool...and then offered us great weed if we were ever interested. laters mate...not today thanks.

this area of salvador is small in terms of what happens in pelo stays in pelo. apart from the tourists you see the same people around everyday...and you know that they see you and watch and wonder. a few times stories have come back around full circle to confirm the theory...its an inticate web of good and evil in this little area better know as pelorinho.

woke up this morning in my new pad....and made coffee, obviously! ate fruit with my new homies and stared at the view. went to my lesson and attempted to buy a brasilian sim card for my phone...discovered i need to practise my portuguese a bit more...left empty handed and a little frustrated. but not a problem. we~ll get there. came back to the apartment to make a birthday card for derica..its her birthday today. and have been praying and tanning in the sun on my balcony since then. im excited about this next month here in salvador. derica and i had an interesting conversation over breakfast this morning about the impossible seeming more possible here for some reason. the things that have happened so far hve been amazing...im hopeful and expectant for some specific things to become reality in this next several weeks. its time to begin to pray specific prayers again...and each day seizing the opportunites that present themselves...well the ones that i feel his smile on.


its samba night tonight me thinks...need to practise what ive been learning. so chances are i wont be able to walk tomorrow.

im out of here...after nearly 3 weeks. ha ha. when i went to the front desk this morning to say that i was checking out...he looked surprised and smiled...i know...it´s been awhile. but we love it! im kinda sad actually. we´ve grown attached. but we will be back to say hi, check our emails, hang with the staff and generally create a stir. :) oh and eat the crepes...mmmm...muito bom!

i have the keys to my new pad in my pocket. somehow only half od my things fit into my backpack this time...i havent even bought anything. so i am moving in stages. currently taking a break ...havent even started yet and im knackered...and have a dodgy stomach. :(

had a great portuguese lesson this mornng and am understanding more na dmore...when people take the time to speak clearly and a little slower. so this is good.
takeing a break next week from lessons to save money...and using hte hours to do my own study out and about in the new neighbourhood. best way to practise what i already have learned.

on the way back from my lesson i had a positive encounter with the man who once hated me and then apologised a few nights ago...im still in shock over this exchange. very strange...but then again i have managed to find the place in brasil with, what seems to be, the largest concentration of witchcraft and afro-brasilian spiritualism desquised as catholisism...the spiritual tensions here are different that i have experienced before in my travels. this may seem weird but sometimes when i look people in the eyes as i pass by i think they can actually see that i believe something very contrasting to what they believe. i love it here and this makes me want to stay. at least for now i want to invest in salvador. next month may mean something totally different...but this is where i am for now and it feels good.

im off for phase one of the relocation project.
ate logo...which, i think, means see you later...but again, not entirely sure.